Citizen E.T.

When I saw the headline on a press release issued by Sen. Carl Levin, D-Mich. yesterday ("Levin Amendment to Correct 'Catch-22' for 'Aliens of Extraordinary Ability' Headed for Congressional Approval"), I started to think that maybe there actually was something to those rumors about Area 51. But it turns out the legislation was just an effort to win speedy approval of the citizenship application of ice dancer Tanith Belbin, who lives in Michigan, so that she can compete for the United States in the 2006 Winter Olympics.

Still, if we ever do make contact with extraterrestrials, Levin's amendment makes a lot of sense: After all, why shouldn't E.T. get on the fast track to citizenship, what with his extraordinary ability to heal the sick just by touching them with his long, bony finger?