The Best Joe Biden Quotes From the Senate's First Day
It's not a proper swearing-in ceremony unless the vice president tells you that you clearly married up.
Like some kind of political meteor shower, Joe Biden's shining moment comes once every two years.
It's the opening day of the new Senate, during which the vice president swears in newly elected and reelected members and greets their families during a mock ceremony. And like streams of meteroids streaking across the night sky, the whole thing is difficult to look away from.
That's because Biden spends these ceremonies kissing grandmothers, playing with young girls' hair, and doling out love advice that he says originates from his home state of Delaware. Remember 2013? We'll never know what the vice president meant when he said, "Spread your legs, you're gonna be frisked" back then.
This year's ceremony was no different. (This GIF of Biden's very awkward interaction with a young member of Delaware Democrat Chris Coons's family should say it all.) Here are the best, slightly out-of-context comments Biden said to various senators and their families after delivering the oath of office.
• "The best guy in the United States Senate. I can say that now that you won." —to Mississippi Republican Thad Cochran.
• "You got some killer eyes. Those girls are in trouble." —to a teenager in Illinois Democrat Dick Durbin's camp.
• "Hey, Joey! Great name, man." —to a kid in Durbin's family.
• "Oh man, this is boring, boring, boring. Can I borrow your hat?" —to a young boy wearing a newsboy cap in the company of Kansas Republican Pat Roberts.
• "As they say in southern Delaware, 'Boy, you married up.'" —to Maine Republican Susan Collins's husband.
• "My only regret is I don't live in Wyoming." —to Wyoming Republican Michael Enzi's wife.
• "I'm not doing the next one." —to Lindsey Graham, as the South Carolina Republican approached the vice president.
• "I may be Irish, but I'm not stupid." —to Graham again.
• "I've got to show you a picture of my dog Champ." —to New Hampshire Democrat Jeanne Shaheen's family.
• "Hey guys, I love your mom and your grandma." —to members of Shaheen's family.
• "How old are you? 15? I hope Mom has a big fence." —to Iowa Republican Joni Ernst's daughter. The fence would presumably keep out the boys chasing after her.
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